distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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