Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize