Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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