i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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