I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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