You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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