My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
