It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
