Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
