We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
