Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
