we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
