All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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