i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just invented taco cereal.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
