Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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