you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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