bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
