it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
