Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
organizing the empties. That sober.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Randomize
