We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
