i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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