Im at strip club and am horny
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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