we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
