My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
