i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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