Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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