i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize