how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
