after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
