every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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