As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
