Me. At least after what I've been through.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
