shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
