Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
When are your genitals available?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
