no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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