I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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