how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
