I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
