i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
