No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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