Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
