Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I wish i was in the wii world.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
