so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
