just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
