Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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