His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize