Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Someone shattered a urinal.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
