Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
