Do you still have your period?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
