i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
The air was thick with penises
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
