I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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