Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
