So drunk its hurt
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Randomize
