how do flat chested girls get laid?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
