Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
