Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
