you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i drank out of a bidet.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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