how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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