Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i came on her dog
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
