Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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