I can tuck mytits in my pants
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
