remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
