That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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