Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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